It Goes On

I can honestly say that every tragedy, hardship, and struggle that as ever fallen on my life with the exception of my mother’s death has been of my own making. It’s easy for me to say that now. I can look back at the last 24 years of my adult life and with complete acceptance recognize how true that statement is. Accidents happen and life goes on, but those things in my life that nearly ruined me were always my own doing, the result of pride, vanity, ego, and self-delusion. I am thankful and grateful to have survived my own best attempts to destroy myself.

I follow quite a few social media influencers. This blog and website’s theme is to help men grow and mature, and also to thrive. With that in mind I seek out the same kind of minds when it comes to the social media accounts I subscribe to. Most of these people are incredibly genuine and uplifting individuals. They serve as inspirations and examples to their followers and I believe wholeheartedly that all of us should carefully monitor and audit our social media habits and eliminate any influence that is not beneficial to our morale and mental growth. The world is filled with negativity, anger, and hate; don’t voluntarily bring it into your life as entertainment.

With that in mind, I want to share just a single thought today; Men you need to harden the fuck up! No seriously, stop! Just STOP! Stop being such pansies, pussies, whiners, and little bitches. Let me clue you into a little truth. Life is hard and that’s a good thing because it separates the men from the boys and if your goal in life is to be a man, a real man; then it’s time to stop behaving like a child. It’s time to stop complaining about how the world is not handing you everything you yearn for and lust after on a silver platter. More importantly it’s time to stop falling prey to click-bait YouTube and Instagram bullshit promising overnight wealth and success. Wake up men, you’re better than this, stronger than this, and capable of much more.

I’m about to embark on a serious change in my life in the hopes, not a guarantee, but a chance to move forward towards my goals and everyone is asking me why. “How can you do that?” Here’s a better question, how could I not? How could I look myself in the mirror as a man knowing I didn’t do everything I could to achieve my goals. How can I sleep at night, knowing that the only thing standing between me and a better life for myself and my future wife was a little discomfort, uncertainty, and sacrifice? I can’t, not anymore, and if you can I don’t believe you have a right to call yourself a man.

I have done some incredibly stupid things in my life. I’ve made choices that have impacted my life in ways it would take a book to explain. I’ve had to pay for those choices and I continue to pay for them. I’m okay with that and even grateful for the experience. My mistakes, my failings and bumbles, have made me. They’ve built me, and strengthened me. Wisdom is not free or even cheap it is born of hard lessons and hard lessons are usually brought on by stupidity and failure. Luckily I survived my life’s lessons and was able to internalize and absorb the message.

Men, we could all benefit from introducing hardship and discomfort into our lives. We could grow and mature from a little better understanding of reality and perspective. We might even come to appreciate a normal life more, having endured suffering, not whined about it, complained about it, or made it through kicking and screaming but taking it on the chin, silent, stoic, and without drama. It is nothing special to hear people describe with great detail all the tragedies, dramas, and upheaval they are currently battling. If anything our society seems to take perverse delight in comparing the depth of our sorrows and troubles with one another in a sick game of one-upmanship. You know what has become uncommon? It is the man who takes on life’s burdens and challenges with determination and quiet fortitude simply getting the job done and moving on to the next challenge with no fanfare or attention. He can do this because he has hardened his mind and body to this simple truth: There will always be another task ahead, another problem, another issue, and he will handle it.

“I do not wish for a life free of hard times, but the strength to face those hardships like a man.”

…some anonymous dude just getting it done…

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