Closing out 2018

Goodbye 2018 and good riddance! What a year! I got divorced, and waded back into the jungle that is modern dating in the Tinder and Instagram age. I managed a custom hot rod shop and sent some cars to the SEMA show, walked even further away from CrossFit and coaching and ended the year managing a diesel repair shop for almost 20K a year more than what I was making, building quarter-million dollar custom cars. I pack a lot into 12 months. Despite it all I’m still going strong, still working towards a goal and still doing my thing.

Unfortunately I’m still living in northern Illinois, suffering through 6 month winters and the dreary gloom. We haven’t had much snow this winter or even many days below freezing but the sun has been scarce and the gray sky seems to close in more and more every day. One way or another I will get out of this state by summer.

My wife and I ended our relationship after nearly 8 years together. It was a tough decision to make but once we were both honest with each other about what we wanted, it was the only choice left. Being single and dating again has been a shock. Women and dating have changed alot since 2010 and while I’m adapting and having success I’ve had to change a lot of the ways I approached relationships. Fortunately men like me are in a wonderful position to take full advantage of the growing backlash towards feminine men. My beard and chest hair have never been more popular with the opposite sex. I plan to write more about the last 6 months and my experiences with online and app dating in my next article.

When this year began I promised myself that it would be the last that I compromised on my ideals and desires. So far I’ve been able to make headway towards achieving lifetime goals and move closer towards financial and career independence. In the next few months I’ll have to make some hard decisions about my future. For the first time in a long while I completely free to maneuver and chase any goal I chose free from responsibilities and obligations to others.

Though I’ve regretted my time here in Illinois I have a lot to be grateful for. These past 5 years have seen my writing and vision mature and grow. I don’t publish nearly as much as I once did, but I write everyday now. When I came to this state I was a pretty good mechanic and mediocre welder, now I’m a great mechanic and a master welder, body repair man and automotive painter. I’ve built a skill set that will allow me to find work instantly wherever I move in the coming months.

Over the last few years I’ve become comfortable with myself and who I am, and what I want. I know what love is and more importantly what it is not. I’ve learned that its okay to be alone and sometimes absolutely essential. I’ve learned to be comfortable in the uncomfortable and to look at challenges and setbacks with welcoming humor and a smirk.

2018 you kicked me in the balls again and again, but you couldn’t keep me down. You turned all my plans upside down and left me wounded and bleeding but I’m still here. Here’s hoping that 2019 is filled with challenges and hardships, and that we may rise to those obstacles and find a way or make one.

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