Self-Sufficient Beer Lover

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So besides running my own training facility, growing a thick full beard in days (you’d be amazed how often that pisses people off), and generally doing all I can to piss off the society of North-central Illinois I also brew my own beer. I love brewing beer almost as much as I love drinking it. It may come as a surprise to many of my Paleo following friends and clients that I love beer as much as I do but I’m okay with that. I’m not gluten intolerant. I maintain my health and bodyweight and I can move a shitload of weight on any given day so If I want to knock back a six-pack or three on the weekend then It’s fine “because I am enlightened.” That was a Fight Club reference by the way for some of you young pups out there.

Brewing beer is pretty straightforward. If you can make oatmeal you can make beer…let me rephrase that. If you can make old-fashioned, boil on the stove oatmeal; you can make beer. You microwave chefs should probably continue buying your beer from the 7-Eleven on the corner. Brewing beer is pretty simple, but it does require patience. The average batch can take 4-6 weeks from brew day to drinking day, and it always helps to let the beer “condition” 3-4 weeks in the bottle if you really want some good stuff. Other than that it’s great. Of course I live in the alcoholic capital of the US so there’s always good beer within a 5-minute drive from my house. Milwaukee is an hour away and Chicago has no less than 12 breweries. Seriously, in the South they had Liquor stores that sold “some” beer up here they have Beer stores that keep a few bottles of wine and whiskey around. My local favorite has some beers that I’ve only read about in magazines sitting in the cold-cooler. When you can build a six-pack from the finest beers from 4 continents than you’re having a good day.

Brewing my own beer has turned me on to a few things. First that the watered down rice and corn filled American Lager beers aren’t bad per say, just characterless and boring. The beers I’ve begun drinking and brewing start at 6% ABV and some come in 22 oz. bottles because that’s all you need. There are sours  that taste like “Atomic Warheads” from the nickel store back in the day and take 5 years or more to make. Then there are Rum-Porters that could strip the paint off walls and combine the sweetness of Rum with the smokiness of bacon and charcoal. Yeah, you sip this stuff you don’t chug it.

I’ve definitely become a Southern Drawled beer-snob here in my new home. I kind of like that. I think everyone in the North should experience the privilege of knowing a true hardcore southern-boy once in their life. If nothing else it reminds them of this thing called manners and politeness. Even I f I don’t mean it; I still practice it. Now the countdown begins until I return to beautiful Tennessee.

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